Today was transfer day! A day almost exactly 2 years in the making. Even after all this time to research, we weren’t sure exactly what to expect (hey, pandemic). Overall, though, it was a smooth and positive experience! Aside from the sparse smattering of chairs in the waiting room, and everyone wearing masks, the general atmosphere was very normal and calm.We arrived at the clinic an hour early at their request, and were able to sit together for a bit before they brought me back. I sat on a (strangely hot) heating pad, drank a giant Hydroflask of water, and waited for the Valium to kick in. Spoiler alert, it didn’t - or at least not in the chill, euphoric way I was expecting. The actual procedure was quick and painless, with my doctor pointing out the important players among the otherwise indiscernible grayish blobs on the ultrasound screen. It was odd not to have Sami with me, but unlike other procedures this one was so fast and generally un-traumatic that I almost didn’t have time to be sad about it. We followed the appointment up with some fast food fries for luck, and an afternoon on the couch.
It's now several hours later, and I’m still trying to unpick how I feel - it's kind of everything and nothing all at once. I’m excited, and sort of in disbelief that this is actually happening. Such a potentially momentous moment, but all I have to show for it for the time being is an occasional - very minor - pang in my lower abdomen. Similarly, I’ll have small intermittent bursts of excitement, but in general I feel strangely level and calm. I think after the huge build up and disappointment of our last cancelled cycle, I have been guarding my emotions - which has led to me feeling less desperately invested this time around, but also strangely removed from the whole process. I'm sure the anticipation and anxiety will build as we get closer to testing time, but for not all I can hope is that starting this cycle on more level ground will lead to a successful pregnancy!
PS - If I get pregnant this time around, we probably won’t be sharing that info publicly until after my first trimester. I’m still planning on blogging on the same schedule about other aspects of our experience either way - after a brief hiatus for the #TWW. Thanks in advance for your understanding!
Have you had an FET, or are you waiting for one soon? What's your experience been like?
Good luck. You both are starting an amazing journey.