The Costs of EDA

I should start this post by saying that every medical and legal situation will be different, so the costs of EDA (or Embryo Donation) for our family might be very different from someone else’s. However, one of the things I champion about this method of family building is its relatively low cost, so it felt important for me to use our real numbers as an example. Having a child via embryo donation is likely to be the most cost-effective way for me to carry a pregnancy, given the high rates of success per transfer (unlike IUI or similar interventions). Our final out-of-pocket number may increase based on the number of cycles needed to get pregnant (by about $3,600 per attempt), but for these purposes, let’s assume that our first transfer will be successful (fingers crossed that that’s what happens IRL!)

If you aren't familiar with our story, my spouse Sami and I privately matched with a donor couple, and completed the transfer of legal ownership over our embryos in November in 2019. To achieve this, our attorney created an agreement outlining the terms of the donation, as well as expectations for the future open relationship we plan to maintain. Our donors also hired a lawyer to review the contract, and we paid her fees per our agreement. In preparation for my upcoming transfer cycle, the embryos were transported from our donor’s storage facility to our clinic one state away. Lastly, after we have a successful cycle and our child is born, our attorney will need to help us complete a second-parent adoption, to order to ensure that no one will ever be able to challenge my spouse’s parental status. I’ve broken all of that down into an itemized list below.

Legal Fees

Donation Contract: $1,500

Review by Donors’ Lawyer: $450

Second Parent Adoption: $1,500

Subtotal: $3,450

Medical Fees

Clinic Consultation: $170

Mock Embryo Transfer / Saline Sonogram: $550

Psychological Evaluation: $200

Medication: $105

FET Cycle: $3590

Assisted Hatching: $650

Subtotal: $5265

Misc. Fees

Storage Facility Administrative Fees: $200

1 Month of Back Embryo Storage: $95

Shipping of Embryo: $276

Storage of Embryos at LFC: $600 / yr

Subtotal: $1,171

Grand Total: $9886

Now, just under $10k is a pretty hefty price tag - especially when you consider that so many people do this part for free. Plus, we all know kids aren't cheap once they get here! However, consider the following: the average domestic adoption costs about $40k, the average reciprocal IVF cycle costs $20k, and 6 cycles of IUI (the recommended number before moving on to other methods) could cost up to $12k. Getting pregnant as a Queer couple is expensive, and that's why financial planning is so important. We're paying our expenses with a combination of grant funding, FSA contributions, and a new credit card with a 0% intro APR. (Side note: we went with a travel rewards card that has a 14 month intro period, and robust rewards - it's nice to feel like we're getting something back while we spend all this cash). We also sell designs on Teespring, but that's honestly more of a creative outlet than a fundraising effort. The point is, we needed multiple angles of attack to confidently take on this expense, and I'd urge anyone approaching assisted reproduction to do the same.

Hopefully this insight into our finances will be helpful to anyone considering EDA!

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Do you have a question about the cost treatment? What about some invaluable financial advice? Drop either one in the comments below!